Like everything else, marriages need to be maintained. My church (Brooklyn Tabernacle) hosted a marriage conference with Paul Tripp this weekend. I thought it was more than splendid, here are a couple of highlights that blessed me greatly.
- Character of your marriage is built up in little moments- which means every single moment counts. This works for life in general, be conscious of everything that you do. ALWAYS.
- Romance is not the cause of a good marriage, it is the result of a good marriage. A marriage rooted in unity, understanding, and love is not rooted in romance, but in worship.
- Our words and behavior are more shaped by what is inside of us than what is outside of it- Out of the overflow of our hearts, our mouths speaks.
- Sin (the killer of relationships) is about being “ME” being in the center. Sin is anti social in its foundational form.
- Sin will cause us to dehumanize the other person in your life. They become vehicle for your wants or the obstacle that gets in the way of your wants.
- Marriage, this side of heaven is always a war between two kingdoms. -Kingdom of God and Kingdom of Self.
- Everyone lives for some kind of treasure. We are value oriented. When we name something as important, you live or work to get it.
- The thing that is your treasure will control you. That is where your heart lies.
- What controls your heart, will control your words or behavior.
- What we say in marriage connects with the treasure we seek in our marriage.
- Your marriage will always be victimized or enhanced by what you treasure. To the degree that you treasure what God says is valuable, to that degree your marriage will be blessed. Jesus said don’t live for temporary earth bound treasures- cause they have no capacity to satisfy your heart
- Your spouse can never be the source of your happiness because they will never pull it off. There is a Messiah.
- What kingdom is ruling your marriage? Self or God?
- A good marriage is a good marriage because the people in the marriage know how to say no to themselves.
- Love is willing self sacrifice for the good of another. That does not demand reciprocation, and doesn’t matter if the person being loved is deserving.
- Finally, what does it mean to seek God’s kingdom in your marriage? Galatians 5:22-23 (22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.)