Marriage; A Lifelong commitment

Hello there!

Ever since I was a young girl, I have always enjoyed reading. As a teacher, I really enjoy children books  especially those that have received the Newbery and  Caldecott Medals. I know you are thinking to your self  “she is too old to be reading children books.”  Well if you think so, here are some that I recommend that were real tearjerkers for me:  Bud not Buddy, The Outsiders and good ole Charlotte’s Web. My goal is to have a special library of all  Newbery and Caldecott  books one day.

I  do  read other literature genres,  I recently just finished The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale (Niyi did too , I got him a copy for his bday so we could be reading  the same text at the same time and share our thoughts!). I have to pause and express that this book has changed my whole perspective on life. I will have a special post that is dedicated to this book, but please get this book, read it, allow is to minister to you and please apply it to your everyday life.

I know you are thinking “what does this have to do with the title of her post?”  Well, I am finishing up a book titled The Wonders of Favor by Toye Ademola and will be starting on Preparing for Marriage with Niyi soon. While browsing through Preparing For Marriage, I read something interesting  that correlated with what I read this evening in the book Wonders of Favor.

So here it is (sorry about ranting on and on about books, I could not resist)
Have you ever thought to your self ; why are people so desperate to get married? I am a firm believer that people don’t take marriage seriously anymore.  It is a LIFELONG COMMITMENT! I don’t think we really understand what that means. For anything to last, it has to be maintained, cared for, monitored, worked on, etc. Marriage is simply a full time job (no lunch breaks but lots of benefits) that you can never get fired from or quit. With all this said, you really need to know  beyond every reasonable doubt, that when you are entering into the institution, that it is with the right person for the right reasons.

“Singles please don’t chose your marriage partner hastily. Your life depends on it. If you chose the wrong spouse, you will be frustrated. However, when you, by the leading of the Holy Spirit, chose the right spouse, you will enjoy favor galore!” (Ademola 2009: The Wonders of Favor)

This simply tells us that you can not pick a life partner without seriously consulting God. Seek God, and he will guide you to your life partner at his own appointed time.

The book Preparing for Marriage briefly talks about knowing which harbor you are headed to if you want to catch the right wind to get you there. It  explained that the problem with our culture today is that when it comes to marriage, many couples choose to set sail for wrong harbors:

• The harbor of idealism– ” If I get married, I’ll be happy until the end of my days.”
• The harbor of companionship– ” I can’t stand the thought of living alone for the rest of my life.”
• The harbor of sexual fulfillment – “Marriage means that I can enjoy sex anytime I want and never feel guilty or fearful.” ( When I read this, I kind of chuckled because I am not sure if this will count as a valid harbor in todays society.  Please don’t shoot me for my next statement  because I can only call a spade a spade.  When it is all said and done, I have to give account of my life to God so I can only speak the truth. SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS A SIN!!!!!!!!  sex is supposed to be practiced within the confines of marriage, and even though this will eventually be its own blog post, allow me to say a little about it.  The  flesh is very hard to tame, and we need to feed our selves spiritually everyday in order to overcome the flesh. Because everyone is doing it, does not make it OK. If we claim to be Christians, then we need to endeavor to follow God’s words  completely.)
• The harbor of Social Acceptance– “My family and friends keep asking me, ” When are you going to settle down and get married?” (Don’t let anyone pressure you, and most importantly, please don’t pressure your self. One thing that I am learning is not to compare my life with others. Everyone’s path in life is different, don’t let another persons life put pressure on yours. All we need to focus on is making sure we are glorifying God in every situation that we find ourselves.

That is it! Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Please make sure that you are reading, It is very crucial to growth. No one should be stagnant, and reading helps us gain new knowledge and helps us practice the art of life long learning.

By the way have you heard about Oprah’s pick for her book club. The book is called “Say You’re One of Them,” Uwen Akpan’s collection of short stories about the lives of African children. The Author is Nigerian by the way and I am super excited for him. If you would like to get a head start on the book,  here are links for two of the 5 short stories http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2005/06/13/050613fi_fiction1?currentPage=all (An Ex-Mas Feast) and http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2006/06/12/060612fi_fiction (My Parents’ Bedroom).

By the way, I keep seeing people with these cute little gadgets on the subway. Its like an electronic book, you buy and download books kind of like an i pod (Amazon Kindle and Sony reader are two versions I saw online).    I know I am late, but I think they are awesome. Will I be out of line to put that on our wedding  registry? (How You Doin? Sorry about the Wendy Williams moment LOL)

It’s sad that after I said we were going to start ” Friday Frolickings” we haven’t had any new posts. Well, we shall be frolicking the whole weekend. So look out for some traffic on DaNi!

This post is dedicated to my younger brother! Sammy Sam. I know you are holding down Naija for us and upgrading all the girls LOL. This was on my 21st birthday, Jr. is a lot taller now. That was also the first time Niyi met my dad. My dad insisted he come out to lunch with us.

Happy Reading!
Cheers
Dami