Choosing a Mate…

Bear with me, this post is kind of long….

I got the opportunity to listen to a sermon that my beautiful friend Brittany Allen sent me after we got engaged. I believe the sermon was titled “choosing a mate” by Creflo Dollar. Creflo gave some questions that need to be addressed while choosing a mate.

Life is about decision making, we decide if we want to get up in the morning or hit the snooze button, decide when to switch lanes on the highway, what and when to eat, etc.  The key to making wise decisions is making sure they are God approved. It is important to have a genuine relationship with God, and consult him in every decision making process. Please don’t get  me twisted , I am not talking about praying to God  about what to wear or anything  random, I know you get my gist. However, you have to diligently seek the face of God about choosing a mate. This is one of the most important decisions that we will ever make. It is a lifelong decision, and the person that you choose has the power of assisting or deterring your destiny.

Here are the Basic Rules

1. DO NOT SEEK A MATE; SEEK GOD: Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all other things shall be added unto it…including a wife or husband.
   
2. RESPECT YOUR PARENTS JUDGMENT:  This will save you from a lot of problems and regret. I was speaking with Bukola (my sister) earlier this week about how hard headed this generation is. There are so many mistakes that we can avoid by simply listening to the voice of reasoning and experience. When our parents (especially Godly ones) speak to us, we need to take heed. If my parents don’t know anything about love and marriage, then I will not be here today. The simple fact that they are still married gives them all of the qualification needed in my eyes. If my parents had any reservation about Niyi, I would have definitely taken a step back. I know it is easier said that none, but it is better than an unhappy marriage. (I would like give a shout out to the #1 couple in the world, my parents! I will be dedicating a special post to them soon)
3. MARRY A CHRISTIAN: A REAL ONE

So here are some of the questions that stood out to Niyi and I.

• Is your mate a Christian? This is a very important o! “Whatever you compromise to keep, that is what you are going to lose.” Don’t make excuses for people, you are selling yourself short.
• What kind of Christian person is he or she? Make sure you have the same spiritual values
• Do you agree on the major doctrines of the Bible?
• Do you agree on church you are going to attend?
• Do you agree on how you are going to spend your time and money? It’s important to plan your time. Set up date night every week to spend time together. Also talk about spending habits, savings, etc.
• Can you trust this person?
• How well does he or she handle adversity?
• Have you ever seen them angry at others and you? You don’t want a hitting, wall punching, name caller.
• Was conflict resolved in the way of the lord?
• Was forgiveness asked for and granted?
• Does he have a way to provide for you?
• Is he or she a responsible person with money?
• Is he or she a good example?
• What issues do you agree or disagree on?
• Does the person have control over his or her sex drive?  Marriage bed has to be undefiled…we shall discuss more on a future post

If you have already chosen your mate, still go back and answer these questions, especially if it is something that you have never discussed before. We did!

Cheers,

Dami

~ by daminiyi on July 4, 2009.